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[Jackie Jones]

On Thanksgiving I will meet the father of my child.

I only discovered his existence about five years ago and I have wondered ever since if my son bore any resemblance to this man.

In a few days I’ll know.

Twenty-nine years ago next month, I brought a 4-year-old boy into my home. Anthony Alexander would soon officially be adopted as Anthony Alexander Jones. As a single parent, I raised Tony and enjoyed the highs and weathered the lows of parenthood. There were times when I wasn’t sure we’d make it through, but we persevered. Today he is a solid citizen and a man I am proud to call my son.

Five years ago, Tony discovered his girlfriend was pregnant and decided to follow up on his many false starts and find his biological family. He wanted to either build a relationship with his folks and get answers to questions that had been swirling in his brain – whom did he resemble, were there health issues about which he should be concerned, did he share habits/mannerisms with them – or close the book, once and for all, and move on to create a life free of the burden of wondering who he really was.

I gave him all the information I had from the adoption agency, including the name of his biological sister.

Tony went about it the old-fashioned way. He called directory assistance in Akron, Ohio and got the phone number of everyone with his sister’s name and called until he got the right one.

Fortunately for Tony, it was the best of all possible worlds. His sister was deliriously happy to hear from him and was in touch with the rest of their family and acted as the intermediary to make the introductions.

He went out to meet the folks that Thanksgiving and has gone on to build relationships with both of his biological parents, his sister and half-siblings and a maternal grandmother. When he moved his family to Utah this summer, they stopped in Akron to see Auntie Angela and Grandma Gloria and a host of aunts, uncles and cousins.

The experience has also brought us closer together.

All those years that Tony allowed himself to fantasize that he might have been missing out on a better existence if only his parents had found a way to stay together and keep him evaporated during that first visit. He called me from Akron to thank me for adopting him, but he also was grateful that his mother chose to give birth. His Ohio family accepted him as he was and opened their hearts and homes to him. He met his mother, he said, but he knew that I was “mom.”

His dad, also named Tony, told our son his early youth was largely misspent and that he fathered four children, including my Tony, before he decided to turn his life around. He went to school, got a degree and a solid career. He married and had three more sons, but vowed to find and connect with all his children and help them as much as he could. Tony was the missing link and now he, too, was in the fold.

About a year ago, Big Tony – as I like to call him – lost his job, not long after his marriage fell apart. A firm offered him a job in Harrisonburg, Va., and he took it, leaving Akron for the first time in his life. Tony, who usually comes home to D.C. for Thanksgiving, invited his dad to dinner and Big Tony quickly accepted.

Tony is a sportswriter and anyone who knows anything about journalists knows that they seldom can predict their schedules. Sportswriters typically work nights, weekends and holidays – think of all the games you’ll watch and read about this weekend. As it turned out, Tony has a major story he’s working on and won’t be home for Thanksgiving. I called Big Tony, however, and told him he was still expected to join our family for dinner. So about 4 p.m. on Thursday, my doorbell will ring and Big Tony and I will meet face-to-face. He’ll meet my mom, my boyfriend, a cousin and probably a couple of friends who will drop in for dessert – or just to meet him.

Big Tony told our son he wanted to meet the woman who raised his boy. I want to meet the man who gave my son life.

I can’t imagine a better way to thank each other than to break bread together.

Happy Thanksgiving.
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Jackie Jones is director of Jones Coaching, LLC, a career coaching firm based in Washington, D.C. www.jonescoaching.net. Jones Coaching takes care of the business of you.

[Sidmel]

This is truly a wonderful Thanksgiving story. I am also very reflective because this Thanksgiving is also my 54th birthday and I thank GOD for another year of blessings. Yes, there have been challenges, but I'm still standing. That's the lesson of Jackie's story and mine. We're still here. And now that we are going to see historic changes in our country, we have even more to thank GOD for.

[jazzyone]

Yes, we SO need complex stories of triumph and redemption.
I hope you follow up, on this blog or with another in the future.

Thank you so much for your story